Thursday 20 December 2012







When wishes come true ... 



I love this time of year - a time of wishes, hopes and dreams. 

I’m sending my wish out to the universe and I hope it will come true.  It’s the same wish I wish for every year but some years its fulfillment feels closer than others. To a certain extent, I could say that certain parts of this wish have come true while other parts still remain in the dark, hidden.  My wish is on behalf of anyone who has ever considered cosmetic surgery at any level. The wish is that those who have these considerations know clearly, and without doubt, where to go to for independent support. 

I am aware that even knowing where to go to for this kind of support may not be enough. Articulating the questions that float about in one’s mind before and after surgery can be a complicated process. This is why a 13-year archive of discussion forums can help concentrate those questions because many similar questions will already have been asked.

I am aware that even though our questions may have been asked, many more questions are always part of the process, especially as times and techniques change over the years. 

Not only that, but even though many questions have been asked, each person will have their own unique set of circumstances from which they are asking their questions,  possibly requiring different considerations to be taken on board. 

I think cosmetic surgery can offer enormous benefit to many patients given the right set of circumstances. Not doing enough research can tip a result in the wrong direction,  leaving a lifetime legacy of pain and sorrow in its wake. 

Cosmetic surgery is a marriage of art and science that appeals to the mind. The grass has always been greener on the other side of the fence, but it is crucial to know where the other side of the fence is and what is there when we arrive. 

By now, I guess everyone must be getting tired of my repeating that I set up a voluntary, independent, non-profit website 13 years ago in order to create an online community of like-minded people looking for information and support with cosmetic surgery.  If you want any more information on Cosmeticsupport.com please feel free to scroll down to the previous edition of this blog which offers more detail. What most people do not know is why I do it. 

It’s a strange feeling growing up knowing that you are supposed to do something but must wait for the world to catch up with you in order to carry that action out.  In my case, certain pieces of the jigsaw were presented to me along the way and I picked them up and carried them with me, waiting for the next piece of the jigsaw to reveal itself.

The first part of my life created a type of dualism in me. Part of me was drawn to Carlos Castaneda books and existential theory. I discovered these concepts on my cousin’s book shelf  when I was in primary school. I loved these books as they allowed me to escape the pain I suffered from having Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I did not know that that was the name of the pain I was experiencing. I learned that later.  You could say that these were my first clues about what it was that I am supposed to do. 

Body Dysmorphic Disorder created havoc in my life as I was completely unequipped to know how to deal with it. I came from a broken home where I had to go to work as soon as possible in order to pay rent. My entire background was unstable with reliable periods of unreliability and homelessness.  Eventually, after a lifetime wasted trying to survive and endure, the council finally offered me a flat in Hampstead. 

It was from this point on that things began to change. I left my job one day and enrolled on a philosophy degree. I studied existential philosophy and aesthetics. I then completed a post grad dip in existential psychotherapy. I would have completed a Masters had there been someone available to supervise this.

Did I mention that I have always felt ahead of my time?

When the internet came along back in the 1990‘s, I knew that this was another piece of my jigsaw. I then met my husband-to-be who was a bit of a mystery in the puzzle.

On New Year’s day in 2000, he told me he would build a website for me that would allow me to offer voluntary, independent, non-profit information and support to cosmetic surgery patients. Being the good wife that I was, I did not believe him!

He put together the site and on the 14 January 2000, the site was online. It was a huge success.  I have run this site alone since our divorce but as he will tell you, it was always my site. I should point out how grateful I am to Dr A Anderson for creating this site for everyone. 

The issues involved in pre- and post-operative cosmetic surgery patients are many. The whole subject has been largely ignored by those surgeons who wish for safe cosmetic surgery. It cannot  be stressed enough that the mind is as an important component in cosmetic surgery as the body. One cannot be separated from the other. Never could. Never will be. It is a life of dualism we lead. The mind and the body are inter-connected and the intricacies of this within cosmetic surgery have been ignored for too long now. 

There have been scandals in the past where many parties claim that they did not know this or that. In the case of emotional support, there is no such hiding place. I have been alone in this corner of the world for a very long time now and in danger of becoming feral! 

This year I wish that all those who call for maximum safety in cosmetic surgery include in that call emotional support for patients before and after surgery.  Oh, and  I hope that Jimmy Choo slash their prices a lot!  


Happy Christmas!  






Friday 16 November 2012


Cosmetic Surgery Patient Support
(What is a Cosmetic Surgery Counsellor?)

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